Sunday, February 13, 2011

Nerd anniversary: 1234567890

It's always easy for me to remember when Tara and I got married:

>>> import time
>>> time.asctime(time.localtime(1234567890))
'Fri Feb 13 16:31:30 2009'

And there's a funny story to go along with it. About a month prior I had proposed to Tara and she said, "Sure, why not. It's sort of like a business arrangement." That's an exact quote, by the way.

Turns out Tara and I love each other very much, but we're very irreverent about the whole marriage thing and constantly make off-color jokes about it. Which may help explain why I was rather certain that if I got Tara a wedding ring, I would get the biggest eye-roll ever. So when I proposed, I gave her a Canon EF 50mm f/1.2L USM lens. Got down on one knee and everything. See, it's still a wedding ring because Canon L lenses have a red "ring" on them. Yup, dorky, but now it's her favorite lens. (Later I confirmed that yes, there would have been much eye rolling had I given her a wedding ring... the lens was the right decision.)

We had no intention of having a wedding. Tara especially hated the idea of having a wedding... too much work, a waste of money she'd rather spend on something cool (like traveling the world). And interestingly enough, to elope in Colorado you need nothing more than a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles (nope, not making this up). We had been meaning to make our fateful trip to the DMV for weeks, but kept procrastinating. Earlier in the week I noticed that Friday would be the 13th, and suggested we try to get married Friday because it would be funny.

Alas, Friday arrived and procrastination struck again, so it seemed that we would miss our opportunity to get married on a "funny day". Tara was at work and I was working from home (a lovely gig at Red Hat working on freeIPA). I was coding away, hanging out in #freeipa, when rcrit (Rob Crittenden) sent me a PM asking me if I knew that it would be 1234567890 later that day.

Now I'm a nerd, but somehow I missed that 1234567890 was coming up. Probably a reflection of the fact that I was highly busy coding on freeIPA and hadn't, say, visited slashdot recently. So I'm very grateful that Rob brought this to my attention. I immediately called Tara said something like, "Tara, Tara, we have to get married at 1234567890!" After a bit of explanation, she agreed to take off from work early so we could make a trip to the DMV.

When we got to the DMV, the "please take a number" machine had three buttons, one for each of the reasons you might be there. They were something like 1. Drivers licenses, 2. Vehicle registration, and 3. Marriage certificates. Again, not making this up. So we took our number and waited in line. When our number was called, well, you know the two sisters in the Simpsons who work at the DMV? The woman who helped us could have been one of the sisters.

After some paperwork, a $20 fee, and seriously asking us if we were cousins like 4 times, the husky voice of a middle aged woman who likely started smoking at age 12... pronounced us man and wife. Tara and I were officially married within a few minutes of 1234567890 seconds after the Unix Epoch (I distinctly remember seeing 16:35 on my phone as we stepped out of the DMV).

Happy anniversary, Tara! We'll have to keep doing this business arrangement some more, I think.

Love,
Jason

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